ok.....ok ......ok so I thought I was done for today.....but I was perusing some of the other blogs and a couple of them shook something loose

At Kinship last night we were discussing Ephesians 5:1. "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children". The context of this I believe is the idea of seeing God as loving, caring, super father figure...like Ward Clever on steroids. OK I know I am being overly critical I know
but honestly this is a subject that I have always struggled with. I have made breakthroughs, or more realistically God has broken through. But anyway back to my point.

What is one to do who's only experience with a father is one of abandonment, anger, disillusionment, and pain. How are we supposed to believe that there is some ethereal, all loving father who loves and care for us and will never abandon us. This is a struggle I definitely relate to...because it is a struggle share. There are days when I get it. When I know that truth and I feel it and everything is right with the world.... then there are days when I just can't grasp it. Why does it keep coming back?

I suppose I should be happy that it is no longer a driving force in my life. God has freed me from it for the most part. Perhaps it only reoccurs to remind to me to minister to others in the same situation, like Paul's "thorn of the flesh". I know when I see children struggling with the same things I went through it just breaks my heart. I tutor some kids through the church who mostly come from a low income area. The vast majority of them come form homes without a father....my heart just aches for these little one. I see the anger, the confusion, the struggles of little ones trying to make sense of their world. Like trying to put together a puzzle with one of the most important pieces missing. I also see how some of these little ones will clamor for my attention...some in good ways some in destructive ways. Good attention-bad attention...it doesn't really matter to them...as long as someone is paying attention to them.

I suppose I have answered my own question. Showing Gods love to these little ones is so important and is probably the only chance many of them have in this world.

I am not really sure what this post was meant to accomplish....it was just something that was burdening heart....I am sure there will be more on this later.